Going through a divorce means having to adjust various aspects of life. This is difficult for adults but it is also very tough on children.
In part, your child’s unique personality and development will impact how they process the coming life changes. However, children tend to look mostly to their parent’s behavior for guidance through unfamiliar situations.
Be honest about what’s happening
Children have a tendency to remember what their parents say, even though they might not always act like it. Stay honest with them about the divorce. Making promises that you can’t keep will hurt their chances of being able to trust others.
Work through their emotions
Both older and younger children might not be able to understand and process through their emotions yet. They might act out when they aren’t sure what else to do. Find ways to help them work through these feelings.
Don’t let them take the blame
Children have a way of internalizing things like divorce. Be sure that you let them know that they aren’t the reason for the split. While you don’t have to go into the reasons behind the divorce, make sure they understand that there is nothing they could have done that would have changed the outcome of the situation.
Watch what you say
Be careful not to badmouth your ex in front of the kids. While the relationship between you and your spouse didn’t work out, it’s important to preserve the other parent as a guidance figure worthy of your child’s love and respect.
Taking this away will make it difficult for your child to trust, rely on upon and respect others and he or she ages.
Get help with the technical aspects
Going through this transition will be difficult for both you and your kids. To increase the time you can spend with your children and ease some of the stresses of decision-making, consult with a skilled attorney for help through the negotiations and paperwork of the divorce.
An attorney can give you advice on how to handle child custody matters and work to ensure that you’re getting a fair agreement.